Why We All Need a Shindig

I’ve been learning a lot about loneliness.

It is no secret that the Global Pandemic has exposed what US Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy said in a 2017 Harvard Business Review article, is the most common human ailment: loneliness. While heart disease or diabetes are the most pervasive physical illnesses in America; loneliness is by far the most prevalent disease wreaking havoc in the mental, physical, and spiritual lives of people, today.​

Loneliness is by far the most prevalent disease wreaking havoc in the mental, physical, and spiritual lives of people, today.​

In his book, Together, Dr. Murthy notes that Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad discovered that lonely people are 50 percent more likely to die prematurely. Additionally, they have a greater risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety. Her research demonstrates that loneliness has the same effect on the body, mind, and spirit as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day and a greater effect than obesity, excess alcohol consumption, and lack of exercise. Dr. Murthy poses the question, what if the real issue is loneliness?

What if the real issue is loneliness?

It might surprise you that I often feel lonely.

Don’t get me wrong. I have (in my opinion), the best wife in the world. She's my best friend. We have three wonderful kids. We enjoy life together. Our ministry team, leaders, and church are incredible. I have good and faithful friends. And there is no shortage of people around me. I even have a fantastic therapist.

One of our Life Group guidelines is, “no fixing”. This also applies to most of life. :)

On my best days, it is really hard for me to admit to myself, “I’m lonely”. On my better days, I keep busy enough to not really think about it. And on my worst days, I resign to the fact that loneliness is part of being a pastor - which is a lie from the pit of hell.

Over the years, I’ve been told, “you can’t be lonely. You’re an extrovert”. I’ve been the recipient of statements like, “you’re such a people-person. How can you ever be lonely?”. And my personal favorite goes something like this: why don’t you confess your sin of loneliness, repent of your self-isolation, and know that God is always with you. Insert “Shake My Head” (smh) gif.

One of our Life Group guidelines is, “no fixing”. This also applies to most of life.

According to a December 21, 2021 article in the New York Times​, one way to begin moving beyond our loneliness is by volunteering to serve. The article went on to share that Val Walker, author of 400 Friends and No One to Call: Breaking Through the Isolation and Building Community says, “Volunteering is one of the best, most certain ways we can find a purpose and meaning in our life”.

Perhaps those of us who experience loneliness - both extroverts and introverts - don’t necessarily need more people in our lives… we need deeper connection.

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (1943) helps me understand that connection is vital to all of life. And while there are many scripture passages that affirm we have a forever connection with our very best friend, Jesus (we call that faith!), that is often too abstract to embrace - even for the most spiritual of us. Even communion, the tangible body and blood of Jesus with the bread and wine, is quite the mystery.

I need something tangible. Flesh and blood. Here and now. 

Thinking about it some more, Jesus has given me something tangible to help with my human loneliness (and yours): each other.

I need concrete human connection… and you do, too

Perhaps those of us who experience loneliness - both extroverts and introverts - don’t necessarily need more people in our lives… we need deeper connection.

And this is one of a few reasons why I need this Midwinter Shindig.

Perhaps there are others like me who need to be part of something bigger than ourselves. To enjoy being together and to give our time in the interest of others.

And Jesus gives it all to us. Like in the Garden of Eden, God gives people to people to enjoy connection. And that’s what heaven will be like, too. Ultimate connection. 

In the meantime, it’s the invitation to “be Jesus” to one another… especially when it may be hard for us to admit our own loneliness to ourselves. 

You can join me as a Shindig Volunteer to help make the event happen, or seriously... just show up… because sometimes we just need to be together.

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