Our Savior Lutheran Church
​11012 Canyon Road East
Suite 8, PMB 397
Puyallup, Washington 98373

I remember the end of my freshman year of college very well. I ended the semester with a big, fat D-for-dog-gonne-done in Differential Equations. The plus in front of it was a consolation prize for pulling 3 all-nighters before the final exam. Unfortunately, digital grades had just come into reality, so taking a black sharpie to the "D" to make it into a "B" to boost my self-esteem wasn't really an option.

My group of friends were changing. I got beat out of fall ball by an incoming freshman. I was just beginning to dive into my "asian-ness" (up until this point, I legitimately believed that I was white... that's a different story I can share with you). I also was struggling with what it meant to be adopted. Simply put - I was a mess.

My dream of a career in physics and math - failed.
My friends - gone.
My team - I wasn't good enough.
What I was - I'm not sure because I just want to fit in.
Who as I - it was easier to be nobody than to be somebody.

I entered that summer with a whole lot of anxiety and fear. I was disappointed with God. I was angry that my well thought out plans were ruined. I was numb to any kind of joy in who I was or what I could offer to the world. I was too insecure to share any of this with anybody. It was way too uncomfortable.

I worked at a summer camp that summer and we were assigned "prayer and accountability partners". Talk about uncomfortable... two college guys... prayer and accountability... that was the last thing I wanted - and yet, exactly the thing I needed.

"How can I pray for you"? Pray for my campers. Pray for my parents. Pray for my friends. Pray for everybody else. Because the world needed to change. . . for me. After all, my Diff EQ prof was the problem because he failed me. My friends chose to ghost me. My coach didn't choose me. My birth country allowed me to be swept away. Everything about my life was about me - and everybody else had the problem. It was my own mental "Burn Book" (you need to watch Mean Girls to understand that reference).

My prayer partner continued to ask, "How can I pray for you"? He said something to the extent of - I could pray for everybody else... but I really want to pray for you.

Over the next 10 weeks, I slowly shared a little bit more about how hurt, angry, and uncomfortable I was inside of my own skin. He said that the prayer found in Psalm 119:94 is one of his favorites: "I am yours; rescue me!" I still echo that simple psalm prayer, often.

Over the course of that summer, I discovered that God really wanted to speak His truth into my heart and change something deep inside of me. 

I learned that's what happens when I invite or allow others to walk alongside of me - especially through prayer. I realize that I am not alone in my anxiety, fear, and discomfort. For me, this experience was life-changing. I believe that God wanted to change my perspective toward other people - to love them, not blame them. I believe that God wanted to show me that His way is better than my way.

I became open and ready to humbly learn and receive from Him in and through my discomfort, anxiety, and fear.

Fast forward to about a year ago. I found myself in another uncomfortable moment (honestly, my life is full of them). While I was considering what God might have in mind with the opportunity to stay in Chicagoland or move to Tacoma, I attended my friends' CD release party where they introduced me to this song. In that moment, I recalled what God had taught me years ago at camp about uncomfortable moments: God wants to speak His truth into my heart and change something deep inside of me.

Take a listen.

Given the realities of our community and world today, I believe that we are living in another uncomfortable moment. There is a lot of anxiety and fear over what could happen next. But, could it be that God wants to speak His truth into your heart and change something inside of you, today?

Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Breakdown the walls of all my religion
Your way is better​

I believe that God desperately desires this for you (and me).

​Why? So that we can see and become more like Jesus.

​We all have uncomfortable moments filled with anxiety and fear. We know that when we enter the “uncomfortable zone”, we learn, grow, and change. And because we can cast our anxiety and fear on Jesus because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7), we can  become open and ready to humbly learn and receive from Him in and through our discomfort, anxiety, and fear.

Another part of God leading you to learn, grow, and change is for you to become more aware of who He has made you. If you would like to take 15-minutes and complete this spiritual gift inventory, I or one of our ministry leaders or coaches would be honored to walk alongside of you. You can send me a note at [email protected] to get started. I can’t wait to hear from you!

​Love you more than you know.

The gospel is that I am forever, unconditionally loved by the Creator of the Universe who demonstrates this love for me in this: while I was still a sinner - curved in on myself, Jesus died for me (Romans 5:8).

In the middle of a time in our history when the noise sounds like my boys fighting over Legos, you might be like me and fall into the trap of living in one of two ways.

The first way that I generally live is that I live loud and bold.

• I buy into the lie that the loudest voice dominates forgetting that “He (Jesus) was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth” (Isaiah 53:7).
• I seek more likes, shares, and comments on Facebook as the measure of success forgetting that Jesus said, “anyone who loves their life will lose it” (John 12:25). 
• The competitive side of me is driven to celebrate the person who has the most votes or wins; and the people who are the wealthiest, most powerful, and best positioned all while forgetting that Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God” (Matthew 5:3). So, everybody else - try harder next time.

The other way I generally live is the way of pacifism.

• I find myself (more often than what I’d like to admit) equating silence to peace forgetting that Jesus said, “I have come not to bring peace, but a sword” (Matthew 10:34).
• I forget that “faith without works is dead” (James 2:26).
• And I am shell shocked when I hear Micah 6:8, “And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

The truth is, I fall into these two ways of living every day.

• Sometimes, I seek my own good and personal agenda instead of Jesus’ daily agenda to love others as I have been loved.
• Other times, it’s my ego, pride, or arrogance that leads me to become the loudest and boldest voice that always needs to be right instead of listening like Jesus who hears my cries, tears, moans, and complaints.
• And then sometimes, I clam up in passive insecurity or tell myself, “this relationship isn’t worth it” forgetting that Jesus never has said that to me.

Lord, I repent.
Friends, I repent.
Community, I repent.
World, I repent.
Church, I repent.

I find rest and energy in this promise: Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst (1 Timothy 1:15).

The gospel is altogether different. The gospel is not about being right or becoming the loudest and most dominant voice on an issue. It’s also not an invitation to be passive - a free pass or get out of jail free card direct to a “better place” (heaven). The gospel is an alternative way of living to what I am experiencing in our world, today. 

As songwriter Matt Maher sings, “where sin runs deep, Your grace is more; where grace is found is where You are; and where You are, I am free, holiness is Christ in me” (Lord, I Need You, Matt Maher). That’s the gospel. That’s the third way of living that I need to recenter myself on every moment of every day.

Jesus said it best Himself that in this world I will have trouble… (John 16:33a). There is no doubt that the brokenness of the world breaks my heart. And, yet Jesus says that He has overcome the world (John 16:33b)

The gospel frees me to choose how best to love others as I have been loved by Jesus.

So, when I feel that I need to be loud and bold, the gospel reminds me that I am loved so much that I don’t need to prove anything to anybody. Indeed, “Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word” (Hebrews 12:24). Or, as the songwriter puts it, “I’m a child of God, yes I am!” (Who You Say I Am, Hillsong Worship). Jesus frees me from the need to win anything. 

When I want to be passive, the gospel says that I am free in Jesus to love others as I have been loved. There is no judgment in love. Jesus’ love compels me to choose how best to love others because Jesus died for all and therefore all have died. And, he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

I am called to love all people sincerely, hate evil, cling to good, be devoted to others in love, honor others above myself, never lack in zeal, but serve the Lord with passion, be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer; to share with everybody in need and most of all - practice hospitality (Romans 12:9-15). It’s interesting that hospitality has been recently explained to me as putting ourselves aside in the interest of others.

That’s another blog post.

So as our world and culture tries to out yell each other, I’m reminded of Jesus’ words, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:43-45).

Lord, help me keep my eyes on Jesus. It’s only in Him I am able to respond by loving others just as I have been loved (John 13:34) and I have the ability to not seek my own good but always the good of others. 

Why? 

So that they may be saved. (1 Corinthians 10:33).

Matthew Harrison, President of the network of churches we belong to (The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod) says: Racism is not acceptable anywhere, especially in the church. Jesus Himself says to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31) and did so precisely while rejecting racial preference. (Luke 10:25–37)

Let's not make this a mission trip moment - a cultural pit-stop filled with euphoria over an event or even series of events. Let's not be inspired for a moment today and go back to whatever "normal" is, tomorrow. Let's commit not to look to our own good, but to the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:2)

So, let's ask a hard question: when it comes to incidental, event-based, and systemic racism - how do we begin loving God, loving people, and living like Jesus?

Let's ask Jesus.

“A new command I give you: Love one another.
​As I have loved you, so you must love one another."
​- Jesus in John 13:34

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view.

​Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. 

And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 

- Missionary Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:15-20

When it comes to all forms of racism, loving others as we have been loved by Jesus doesn't (and shouldn't) look the same for everybody. But it does mean that we show up.

It is also undeniable that love is an action because God is love. (1 John 4:7-21) And, God in Jesus shows up and demonstrates the greatest act of love by giving His life on the cross for the world.

For some, love will look like gently and directly speaking up and advocating for people. Others choose to work toward changing broken systems. Yet, others are simply friends who come alongside of each other and do life together.

I recently heard that hospitality is putting all of you aside for somebody else. Perhaps the first step toward diffusing racism is that we begin to listen hospitably to somebody else. Trade our periods for question marks. Be curious and ask questions. Then be still and quiet. Listen - not to respond, but rather to understand. To feel. To be present as Jesus is present.