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Pastor Tim's Blog

connecting faith with everyday life

Members and Friends

9/15/2022

 
Becoming a member and friend is an important part of being part of a church family. That’s why church family membership is such a big milestone in your discipleship journey. Let me explain.

My member-relationship with Costco is very different from my friendship with Beth. And while that might be comparing apples to almonds - it’s a valid question… especially as a church family.

A traditional understanding of membership is one of being a consumer. Like my relationship with Costco, I give something (money) in exchange for a product (an 18-inch pizza and a rotisserie chicken). In other words, if you want something, pay for it with something of value - money, time, skill or talent, etc.. In this sense, most member-relationships are transactional - “I do this so that you do that”.

Friendship is one of collaboration and partnership. Leaders can be formal positions or informal influencers. In this sense, everyone leads somewhere. There is an equity that echoes, “we’re in this together”. As a result, most friend-relationships are transformational - “we are learning, growing, doing this thing together”.

Both membership and friendship are necessary for a church family to thrive. So, here’s how to be great members and friends at the same time.

Show Up Consistently
Showing up on a regular basis begins to naturally transform our hearts. We move from thinking “I have to go” to “I get to go”. You start thinking of yourself as a member and a friend… and others begin seeing you like that, too. You’ll get to know people better (even if it’s a little bit at a time through shared experiences or conversation). You’ll hear the same stories over time. You’ll share life’s ups and downs because you’re there, together. In some ways, this will naturally happen as you pop in-and-out - but it happens faster when you’re showing up, consistently.

Meet a Few to Connect with the Whole
You hear about a group or team you want to join, but you don’t know everybody. In fact, you only know one person in the entire church. Ask that one person to introduce you to someone who is already part of the group or team you’re interested in learning more about or that you want to join. That personal connection with a single person can connect you with an entire group of friends.

Becoming both a member and a friend requires elements of learning, self-discovery, and growth. That’s why the process of becoming a church family member is such an important part of and milestone in your discipleship journey.

Miembros y amigos

Convertirse en miembro y amigo es una parte importante de ser parte de una familia de la iglesia. Es por eso que la membresía de la familia de la iglesia es un hito tan importante en su viaje de discipulado. Dejame explicar.

Mi relación de miembro con Costco es muy diferente de mi amistad con Beth. Y aunque eso podría ser comparar manzanas con almendras, es una pregunta válida... especialmente como familia de la iglesia.

Una comprensión tradicional de la membresía es la de ser un consumidor. Al igual que mi relación con Costco, doy algo (dinero) a cambio de un producto (una pizza de 18 pulgadas y un pollo asado). En otras palabras, si quieres algo, págalo con algo de valor: dinero, tiempo, habilidad o talento, etc. En este sentido, la mayoría de las relaciones entre los miembros son transaccionales: “Yo hago esto para que tú hagas aquello”.

La amistad es una de colaboración y asociación. Los líderes pueden ser puestos formales o personas influyentes informales. En este sentido, todo el mundo lleva a alguna parte. Hay una equidad que hace eco, “estamos juntos en esto”. Como resultado, la mayoría de las relaciones de amistad son transformadoras: “estamos aprendiendo, creciendo, haciendo esto juntos”.

Tanto la membresía como la amistad son necesarias para que la familia de la iglesia prospere. Entonces, aquí le mostramos cómo ser grandes miembros y amigos al mismo tiempo.

Aparece constantemente
Aparecer regularmente comienza a transformar naturalmente nuestros corazones. Pasamos de pensar “me tengo que ir” a “me voy a ir”. Empiezas a pensar en ti mismo como un miembro y un amigo... y los demás también empiezan a verte así. Llegarás a conocer mejor a las personas (incluso si es poco a poco a través de experiencias compartidas o conversaciones). Escucharás las mismas historias con el tiempo. Compartirás los altibajos de la vida porque estás ahí, juntos. De alguna manera, esto sucederá naturalmente a medida que apareces y desapareces, pero sucede más rápido cuando apareces, de manera constante.

Conoce a unos pocos para conectarte con el todo
Te enteras de un grupo o equipo al que te quieres unir, pero no conoces a todo el mundo. De hecho, solo conoces a una persona en toda la iglesia. Pídale a esa persona que le presente a alguien que ya sea parte del grupo o equipo del que le interesa aprender más o al que desea unirse. Esa conexión personal con una sola persona puede conectarte con todo un grupo de amigos.

Convertirse en miembro y amigo requiere elementos de aprendizaje, auto-descubrimiento y crecimiento. Es por eso que el proceso de convertirse en miembro de la familia de la iglesia es una parte tan importante y un hito en su viaje de discipulado.

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    ​Pastor Tim

    Meet Pastor Tim

    Tim Bayer has served as Our Savior's Lead Pastor since September 2019. He also serves as an Adjunct Instructor at Concordia University - Irvine, a National Leadership Facilitator and Resource, and with the Northwest District of the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod.

    Tim studied sociology, psychology, and theology prior to earning his M.Div at Concordia Seminary - St. Louis. He also is a candidate for an Ed.D (ABD) in Transformational Leadership.

    He is married to Beth and they have three children. Together, they enjoy exploring the outdoors, experiencing culture, and pizza and movie nights.

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  • Home
  • Worship
    • Watch Live Online
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  • Connect
    • Kids >
      • Sunday Kids Connect
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  • Preschool
    • Registration
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    • Events
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    • Right Now Media
    • Churchcenter App
    • Pastor Tim's Blog
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