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Pastor Tim's Blog

connecting faith with everyday life

Let's Keep Talking

6/8/2023

 
On June 28, 1969, police raided Stonewall Inn, a Gay Bar and Dance Club in Greenwich Village.

Over 30 years later, to recognize the Stonewall Riots and the subsequent activism for equal social acceptance and legal protections for people identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT), President Bill Clinton designated June as "Gay and Lesbian Pride Month." 

For the last two decades, Pride Month has evolved into a month of learning, community festivals and parades, flag demonstrations, and actively supporting people who identify as LGBTQIA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, and other gender identities and sexual orientations).

Two Observations
I was going to share 5, but 3 of them were probably not all that helpful.

     1. Many Christians (perhaps even most) find it intimidating to talk about gender and sexuality.

Unlike biology class which teaches facts, the intersection of gender, sexuality, and faith is personal. That's why an individual or small group conversation is the best place to begin.

​If you want to explore faith, gender, and sexuality, 
let's find a time to get together.


     2. Assumptions and misinformation get people fired up.

Earlier this week, I learned that an outtake from a popular Christian mini-series caught the corner of a crew member's equipment with a small pride flag. Tens of thousands became jurors in the court of popular opinion embedded in the social media world.

A Few Thoughts

I've spent the last two decades listening, learning, failing, processing, and praying about how best to talk about Pride Month in a Jesus-like way. To be honest, I've been afraid to talk about it beyond a small circle of trusted friends because I know the risk of being misunderstood, judged, and losing friends - even my job. Know that I am on a journey (we all are). And to be honest, I'm still listening, learning, failing, processing, and praying. The journey (I hope) will never end.

I invite you to join me following Jesus with both grace and truth (John 1:14-15).


     1. The foundations of Pride matters… a lot.

From what I understand, Pride Month brings together three separate and related conversations.

Human Rights. According to the United Nations, human rights are rights inherent to all human beings, regardless of race, sex, nationality, ethnicity, language, religion, or any other status (including gender identity and sexual orientation). Human rights include the right to life and liberty, freedom from slavery and torture, freedom of opinion and expression, the right to work and education, and many more. (un.org)

Sexual Ethics. According to the University of Tennessee researchers Katie Scott and Clint Graves, generalized Western sexual ethics say that sexual activity between human beings is permissible as long as it is consensual.

Marriage. The legal definition and practice of marriage in the United States include same-gender marriages.

Based on the Jesus stories found in Christian scriptures, particularly the Gospels; Jesus' teaching about human rights, sexual ethics, and marriage; along with his character and conduct, I am led to believe that Jesus is the very best human rights advocate, sexual ethics philosopher, and marriage advocate to have ever lived. After all, God is love, and we know this love in the person and work of Jesus (1 John 3:16-20).

Knowing this, I ask myself, "Who would I go to for direction and advice? Uncle Sam or Jesus? Western thought or Jesus? The UN or Jesus?".

As a Jesus follower, I go to Jesus first. If Uncle Sam, western thought, or the UN aligns with Jesus' teaching and way, then I apply it. If not, I continue to learn about it and live with the fact that not everyone and everything will agree with Jesus. When there isn't clarity, I continue to ask questions to listen, learn, process, and pray.

I'd love to learn with you, listen to your thoughts, and discuss these three topics. You can set up a time to meet here.

     2. Integrity is a booming voice in a highly fake world.

A healthy church aligns what it does with what it says (integrity). Otherwise, people become hypocrites - two-faced. I don't believe Jesus wants me to be a hypocrite. I'm just not that hip with it. ← If you know, you know. 🙂

What does that practically mean?

I will generously love, cherish, welcome, foster a culture of care and belonging, share meals with, stand alongside, support, defend, and listen (a lot) to my family, friends, and neighbors who identify as LGBTQIA+. I will do that with love and joy because Jesus says to love my neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:37). These are my brothers, sisters, and neighbors who are worthy of love.

I will also choose to stand with both the sinners and the saints. Jesus is the one who chooses love over hate, welcome over rejection, and support over abandonment. When Jesus was on earth, He stood by the religious leaders and those who rejected religion; Pharisees and Teachers of the Law and his disciples; Samaritans and Jews; the straight man, eunuch, and sex worker; the righteous and the unrighteous. Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a sinner like me!

Through the cross, Jesus invited sinners (all of us) back into a relationship with God. Jesus tells a story about while I was still a long way off, God ran out to me and hugged me, gave me his robe to wear, clobbered me and kissed me, welcomed me home, and threw me a party with all my friends and family - all because I was back with God.


I will also not redefine human rights, sexual ethics, or marriage apart from Jesus. Here's what I mean.


Jesus unconditionally loves people while not redefining human rights, marriage, gender, or sexuality. Instead, Jesus ups the ante to a point that nobody can live up to what God expects when it comes to these three essential parts of the human experience.

  • I hear God say, "Do not murder." Jesus takes it further and says if I am angry with someone or have hate in your heart, I am a murderer (Matthew 5:21-22).

  • I hear God say, "Do not commit adultery." Jesus takes it further and says if I look at someone with desire, I am an adulterer (Matthew 5:27-28).

Jesus talks about gender, sexuality, and marriage (Matthew 19:4-6) and doesn't redefine it. Instead, Jesus echoes what was already given by God (Genesis 2:24-25) and translates it into a person.

Jesus is the one who came to live, die, and rise again so that gender identity is no longer a power play between me and God and between me and others. There is equality when it comes to who I am and that the way I am fully loved and accepted by Jesus. The love I receive is equitably experienced and is not based on my gender, but solely because He chooses to love me in ways I understand and in ways I will never understand (Galatians 3:28).

Jesus, according to the gospel accounts is a single cis-male who demonstrates a sexual ethic that honors human sexuality by remaining celibate while at the same time encouraging sexual freedom within the safe boundaries of a consensual, committed, and culturally-recognized marriage.

Jesus is the one who demonstrates the essence of marriage as he vows an eternity of love to me and signs it with His blood that flows from the cross and then lives in me by His Spirit (Ephesians 5:31-32).

Jesus unconditionally loves people who don't agree with him. I do, too. At the same time, the gospel writers do not suggest that Jesus redefined or described marriage as anything other than a distinct deep friendship of one male and one female humbly giving everything to each other; entrusting their bodies, hearts, and life to each other - just like Jesus did for me. This is one of the many ways the profound mystery of Jesus' saving work on the cross is expressed through my human experience.


Jesus' point is that when it comes to human rights, sexual ethics, and marriage - you can both love people like God loves people and apply God's way of human rights, sexual ethics, and marriage to the present time and culture. There is application with no redefinition.

Which means, Jesus isn't fake - He had integrity. And I strive to do the same today.

Integrity is a booming voice in a highly fake world.

So, friends - I need Jesus, and so do you. Let's follow Jesus together. That's how I will love all people - including my LGBTQIA+ friends and neighbors this month while not redefining the gifts of human rights, sexual ethics, and marriage… because I want to be a person with integrity.

What do you think? Let me know. Let's find a time to meet up here, or send me an email at [email protected]. 

Nothing would bring me more joy than for you to talk about this blog post. When doing so, please be mindful of the 8th commandment which says:
 
Do not bear false testimony about or against your neighbor. What does this mean? We fear and love God so that we do not lie about our neighbor, betray them, slander them, or hurt or harm them or their reputation, but rather defend them, speak well of them, and explain everything in the kindest way (Luther's Small Catechism, Explanation of the Eighth Commandment). Thanks!


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    ​Pastor Tim

    Meet Pastor Tim

    Tim Bayer has served as Our Savior's Lead Pastor since September 2019. He also serves as an Adjunct Instructor at Concordia University - Irvine, a National Leadership Facilitator and Resource, and with the Northwest District of the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod.

    Tim studied sociology, psychology, and theology prior to earning his M.Div at Concordia Seminary - St. Louis. He also is a candidate for an Ed.D (ABD) in Transformational Leadership.

    He is married to Beth and they have three children. Together, they enjoy exploring the outdoors, experiencing culture, and pizza and movie nights.

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