Our Savior Lutheran Church
  • Home
  • Worship
    • Watch Live Online
    • Watch On Demand
  • Connect
    • Kids >
      • Sunday Kids Connect
    • Youth >
      • Confirmation
      • LCMS Youth Gathering
    • Adults >
      • Life Groups
      • Bible Studies
      • Men
      • Women
      • Young Adults
      • Young at Heart 55+
    • Find Care >
      • Prayer
      • Marriage
      • Parenting
      • Aging Well
      • Mental Wellness
      • Coaching
      • Justice
    • Get Baptized
    • Become a Member
    • Faith Milestones
    • Parenting
  • Serve
    • In Our Church
    • In Our Community
    • In Our World
  • Preschool
    • Registration
    • Preschool News
  • Resources
    • Events
    • Calendar
    • Coaching
    • Podcasts
    • Right Now Media
    • Churchcenter App
    • Pastor Tim's Blog
    • Church Business
    • Employment
    • Links & Files
  • Give

Pastor Tim's Blog

connecting faith with everyday life

Building Bonds

10/8/2021

 
Would you agree that human relationships were complicated - even before COVID?

Expectations. Preferences. Feelings. Insecurities. Fear. Personal Histories. Past Experiences. Hopes. Dreams. Passions. Convictions. And then there are beliefs about mandates, economics, politics, and religion - whew!

If you put all of this together, even the most simple person can become complicated. 

Add another human with the same complexities into the mix and we discover that some of the most significant earthly relationships we may ever have - our spouses and significant others, can be incredibly complicated.

Here are three ways you can build a deeper and stronger bond with anybody - especially your spouse or significant other in this complicated time and life.

1. Embrace your fear.
Connecting with ourselves on an emotional level is an important place to begin building deeper and stronger bonds with other human beings.

Relationships are scary. We become exposed, known, and vulnerable. We so want to be seen, heard, and belong. At the same time, we’re afraid of rejection and being alone with our thoughts and selves. That’s why isolation is such torture.

You can begin building a deeper and stronger bond with someone by saying it’s OK for you to feel the need for love and feel the fear of being hurt, rejected, and alone if it doesn’t work out.

Jesus reminds us that He is always with us (Matthew 28:19-20) and that we are never alone (Romans 8:31-39) - which means we can be wrong without the fear of rejection from God or the grace of others.

2. Learn to dance.
Right after we were married, Beth and I gave ballroom dancing a go.

She excelled at it. 

I have two left feet.

The point is, we learned the awkward moves together. She was better than me and I had to swallow my pride of looking foolish and messing up and trust her lead.

In our relationships, at times we need to trust each other’s lead because the other person has insight that we need to hear and consider or we have two left feet and need to simply learn something from the other person. 

I remember that in order to learn the moves, I had to just be quiet and move with her. . . which required trusting that she knew the moves (which she did).

This principle helped us both on the dance floor and in our marriage.

As Jesus followers, we are given both the example and power to not live in our own pride, but trust in both the Lord and the grace God gives to each person. 

There are certainly situations where sin has broken trust and amplifies pride to the point where we need much more than a dance instructor. Realizing that there are people all around us who want to help us dance together is a huge confidence booster to say, “let’s get help” and continue dancing.

3. Practice Jesus-Centered Empathy
Right now, our culture is all about empathy. And rightfully so - we need more of it!

Brene Brown defines empathy as “connecting with people so we know we're not alone when we're in struggle. Empathy is a way to connect to the emotion another person is experiencing; it doesn't require that we have experienced the same situation they are going through” (BreneBrown.com).

Here’s something to consider - human empathy alone may connect you with someone else’s emotion in a particular moment or situation. It’s needed. And it’s a way that God has created us to be in common unity (community) with each other.

However, human empathy only provides a greater human experience. In other words, we can only empathize to the point of where our human emotions allow us to go. That’s Human-Centered Empathy. It’s good and necessary. And it’s incomplete by itself.

Jesus-Centered Empathy places Jesus (the human of all humans) as our shared empathizer - not only ourselves.
  • Jesus experienced fear so that we can be brave - even when we don’t have or know the specific ways to do so.
  • Jesus experienced loneliness so that we can never be apart from him.
  • Jesus experienced rejection so that we are always accepted by someone.

When Jesus centers our empathy for each other, we can grow deeper and stronger beyond ourselves - more like Jesus.

I think that deeper and stronger bonds or relationships with other people are challenged when overwhelming emotions take over our thoughts, words, and actions. 

This is why we admit that “we have sinned in our thoughts, words, deeds and cannot free ourselves”. Asking God to “forgive us, renew us, and lead us so that we may delight in Your will and walk in Your ways” to the glory of God and the blessing of others is a wonderful place to begin building deeper and stronger bonds with anybody.

Why? Because the strongest and deepest bond that we share with each other is the bond of peace through the unity of the Spirit which we have in one Lord, one faith, and one baptism - one forgiveness, one hope, and one source of truth and love (Ephesians 4).

Comments are closed.
    Connect with
    ​Pastor Tim

    Meet Pastor Tim

    Tim Bayer has served as Our Savior's Lead Pastor since September 2019. He also serves as an Adjunct Instructor at Concordia University - Irvine, a National Leadership Facilitator and Resource, and with the Northwest District of the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod.

    Tim studied sociology, psychology, and theology prior to earning his M.Div at Concordia Seminary - St. Louis. He also is a candidate for an Ed.D (ABD) in Transformational Leadership.

    He is married to Beth and they have three children. Together, they enjoy exploring the outdoors, experiencing culture, and pizza and movie nights.

    Archives

    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019

    Categories

    All
    Celebrations
    Community
    Culture
    Faith
    Future
    Leadership
    Milestones
    Neighboring
    Serving
    Stories
    Story
    Theology

    RSS Feed

OUR CHURCH

Service Times & Location
Mission & Values
Staff
Resources
Contact Us

GET INVOLVED

Connect
Serve
Grow
Give

OUR SCHOOLS

OSLC Preschool
Concordia Christian Academy (K-12)
© 2025  |  Our Savior Lutheran Church  |  253.531.2112
4519 112th St E, Tacoma, WA 98446
Office Hours: Mon-Fri 8:30-3:00
Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:30am
Site Services by Well Water Design + Weebly
Privacy Policy
  • Home
  • Worship
    • Watch Live Online
    • Watch On Demand
  • Connect
    • Kids >
      • Sunday Kids Connect
    • Youth >
      • Confirmation
      • LCMS Youth Gathering
    • Adults >
      • Life Groups
      • Bible Studies
      • Men
      • Women
      • Young Adults
      • Young at Heart 55+
    • Find Care >
      • Prayer
      • Marriage
      • Parenting
      • Aging Well
      • Mental Wellness
      • Coaching
      • Justice
    • Get Baptized
    • Become a Member
    • Faith Milestones
    • Parenting
  • Serve
    • In Our Church
    • In Our Community
    • In Our World
  • Preschool
    • Registration
    • Preschool News
  • Resources
    • Events
    • Calendar
    • Coaching
    • Podcasts
    • Right Now Media
    • Churchcenter App
    • Pastor Tim's Blog
    • Church Business
    • Employment
    • Links & Files
  • Give