The Secret to Create Belonging

This Sunday, I shared about Jeff. He might say he has much in common with his fantasy football group, where he can be himself. He's goofy, memorizes stats, and can tell you anything about the Chicago Bears. I wonder how Jeff might know that he has so much in common (including eternity) with the people of God… that he belongs with the people of God.

Jesus wants everyone to be together with him.

A doctor named Luke was among the thousands of people who followed Jesus. Scholars believe that he was also one of the 70 that Jesus sent out into cities and villages and share that God wants everyone to be together with him. He would emphasize that Jesus is the way God brings all people together. He then tells us that Jesus physically ascends into heaven. The question was, is God with us anymore? Luke's response is an emphatic "yes" as he tells us that God sends us the same Holy Spirit that Jesus always has to bring us all back together with Him.

The Apostle Paul reaffirms this when he tells the Jesus lovers in Corinth, "God's Spirit lives in you" (1 Corinthians 3:16). In other words, Jesus is always with us. Perhaps more profoundly, like Luke, we help people belong because everyone belongs with the people of God.

That's why one of our three priorities is creating belonging everywhere by prioritizing relational connections. In other words, it's one way we want to focus as a church on seeing people transformed by the gospel by discipling all generations where they live, work, learn, and play (or wherever we gather).

We've all been in crowds of thousands and felt isolated and alone. And, let's face it—even though there are close to a million people in Pierce County and 225,000+ in our neck of the woods, many feel isolated and alone. Like Jeff, I wonder how each one of them might know that they belong with the people of God.

We often find ourselves together with people. Whether it's a worship service, meals, sports practices, home projects, community service, meeting up for a life group or Bible study, kids and youth activities, social activities, or meetings, I believe how we gather matters.

So, here's the secret to belonging at home, school, work, or on the field.

Vulnerability.

According to researcher Brene Brown (Daring Greatly), vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. She goes on to say that vulnerability isn't weakness but incredible courage. Vulnerability is seen in the moments we share when we are scared, uncertain, or emotionally exposed or ask for forgiveness. More profoundly, she writes, "Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity."

While Brene is approaching the conversation from a social science perspective, she may or may not know that what she is saying is deeply spiritual (and biblical).

Allow me to explain. God made each of us in the image of God with emotions (Psalm 139). Because of sin, like the first humans, we hide when we are scared and uncertain because we are exposed (Genesis 3). It’s like we are spiritually naked and we don’t want anybody to see us. So, living in darkness is easier than being vulnerable by stepping into the light. And yet, we know that Jesus is the light of the word, the light no darkness can overcome (John 1). And it’s in Jesus, we experience love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, creativity - and so much more… We receive all the gifts of God to enjoy and be a blessing to the people around us.

With that perspective, in order to create belonging everywhere, we must take risks and do new things because if everyone belongs with the people of God, we are the ones God uses to help people experience the belonging of God.

Where can we begin?

Make a list of 5 people you trust.
It begins with vulnerability—sharing something scary or uncertain, asking for forgiveness, or emotionally exposing ourselves. It takes incredible courage to do that with another human being.

It's OK if you don't have five right now. How about one person? Then, challenge yourself to take a risk and open yourself up to one new person in the next year. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was trust. Take your time, but also take the risk.

Meet New People (Make Introductions)
Most people feel uneasy meeting someone new. Meeting new people may feel uncomfortable because we are opening ourselves up to the opportunity for rejection. However, we are also opening ourselves up to making new friends and helping "the Jeffs" know they belong with the people of God.

How were you introduced to the people of God? In what way was it natural or awkward? How can you introduce people where you live, work, learn, and play to the people of God where they belong?

Empathy
When we introduce people to the people of God, many discover they have more in common than they thought. Neuro-research tells us that the more we get into the weeds of each other's lives, the more we share time and activities with each other… We begin to share our everyday lives together.

True belonging emerges in a life together with Jesus.

Environment
We've all been in places that do not allow relationships to happen. The restaurant is so noisy that you can't talk over dinner, and the store is so crowded that you can't wait to leave. This is an event where people avoid the food rather than the food attracting each other around the table.

Our Master Planning Team can't wait to share more about how we can make our ministry spaces an even better environment for belonging with you and the people who belong to God (and may not even know it yet).

Creating belonging for everyone can be scary. But I have discovered that if I run away from the risk, uncertainty and fear enter my mind or twist my stomach. I often say, "I'm not good enough."

To that, I remind myself that God's Spirit already lives in me (1 Corinthians 3:16) and that I am God's masterpiece, created to do this good work that God has given me to do since the beginning of time (Ephesians 2:10). I think about how much I want "the Jeffs" of the world to know that they belong with the people of God. And I then say, "I love you, God… let's love people and live like Jesus together."

Vision is always caught more than taught, so I'd love to engage with and listen to what excites you about what "creating belonging everywhere" means to you. Please email me at pastortim@oslc.com, or let's connect over coffee or tea.

Next week, we will explore what it means to prioritize discipling all generations by being the best neighbors.

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