What's After High School... ?

Like many people, I graduated high school.

It is common for students to begin planning for what’s after high school by considering being gainfully employed; enlisting in the military; or enrolling in trade school, college, or university.

The reality is that what people choose to do after high school graduation continues to rapidly change.

Let’s be honest - it had been shifting for years before the pandemic, and everything about post-high school life is different today. Nothing is really the same - and nothing is returning to the way it was.

The employment field and workforce are altogether different from hybrid and remote work. Enlisting has its own unique set of pros and cons. Tradespeople are desperately needed and are often under-resourced and ignored. And there seem to be more ways to pursue a college degree than species of fish in the Puget Sound.

This is why I was so intrigued when the conversation I had a few weeks ago implied that college was a better or preferred choice over being gainfully employed or enlisting.

Here are 3 reasons it might be so easy for us to assume college education is a student’s next step after graduation and what to do about it.

1. Your friend group all went to college after high school.

Birds of a feather flock together.

It’s human nature. If everyone around you chose to enroll after high school, that has become your norm. It’s the unspoken standard that you expect from others. And, when people do not align with your idea of “normal,” they are the opposite - abnormal. Afterall, there is safety in numbers.

The challenge is that we can unknowingly make unhelpful (and inappropriate) judgments about people based on their decisions and how they align with our idea of “normal.”

Does that mean you’re wrong? No. It just means that your expectation about life after high school has been shaped by the people around you. It’s not good or bad - but it is something to be mindful of when others share their life decisions with you.

2. You went to college after high school.

Perhaps you went to college right after high school. It might have been the best experience of your life. Your expertise and degree have served you well.

It’s easy to assume if it was the right choice for you, it’s the right choice for others, too.

We must acknowledge that each person is unique - made in the image of God with specific gifts, talents, and skills. Therefore, while I do not believe that each person is specifically “called” to a pigeonhole and if they aren’t there, they are “outside of God’s will,” - I do believe that each person is called to use what God has given them to love people, care for creation, and be a blessing to the world.

So, while that may have looked like college to you - for others, it might look like experiencing boot camp, fixing sprockets on a Navy ship, welcoming you at your favorite restaurant, baking bread, butchering meat, caring for children, or advocating for human rights.

While it is normal to be shaped by our experiences, it is important to be mindful that God led you to use your gifts, talents, and skills by way of a college classroom. At the same time, your experience does not mean God is leading everybody down that same path.

3. You didn’t go to college right after high school and wish you did.

Regret is a powerful negative emotion.

Perhaps you think your life would have been different if you had enrolled or completed college. You would have met another partner or spouse. You would have made more money. You would have had other opportunities.

And because you regret not enrolling or completing college, you don’t want other people to repeat your past action.

Regret is closely related to guilt and shame, which have the incredible potential to control and manipulate other people.

If you are experiencing guilt, shame, or regret over a past choice, such as not going to college right after high school and wishing you did, there are excellent resources for you to own it, call it what it is, and work through it.

The bottom line is this: the prison of regret has an open door for you to pull other people in with you or run out the door leaving it behind while remembering your experience in captivity.

What would it look like if heading out to boot camp, securing full-time employment, or focusing on trade were equally celebrated as enrolling at a college or university?

I think there would be a lot of lifting graduates up and celebrating them for who they are, what they’ve accomplished, and what they wish to do - whatever that might be at this moment in time.

Let’s be honest - how many of us really knew what we wanted to do when we were 18 years old? Some of us are still trying to figure that out at 30, 40, 50, and 60 years old.

What I’m trying to say is that it is OK to not have our life’s plan mapped out two decades into life. It is OK to just take the next step and do something and move forward.

Sometimes honor and respect looks like celebrating people when we don’t necessarily align with their choices. Celebration and agreement are not mutually exclusive.

When I found myself in a conversation where I felt the student was being judged by another adult for choosing to work full-time and not pursue college classes, I said, “That’s awesome! I’m proud of you. Where do you work so that I can visit you sometime?”.

That kind of response takes the Apostle Paul’s encouragement to sound like Jesus when we find ourselves stuck in making assumptions about other people, letting our pride compare other people to ourselves, and in the prison of our regret, guilt, and shame. Paul writes in Philippians 2:3: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but consider others better than yourselves in humility. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others.

Perhaps the best response to all of our grads who are gainfully employed, enlisting, enrolling, or already enrolled is this: we celebrate you for who you are and who you are becoming! We love you! Tell me more about what’s next for you. When can I see you next to encourage you in your next chapter of God’s crazy awesome story called life?

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